With wit...

...my wit is marred.

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My Favorite Photo (I've Ever Taken) Brickfish

{aspirations}

Sometimes I thought I would like to be a trapeze artist. Soaring overhead and flipping through the air.

Then I remembered gravity.

Sometimes I thought I would like to be a trapeze artist in space.

{these thoughts courtesy of Lydia Brown {a character I am starting to develop}...she is also the "I" in the post below. I have recently discovered this girl...I'm trying to let her talk a lot so I can get to know her better and soon she'll have her own story. Not sure what yet...but she's starting to talk on her own now. Yesterday I discovered her name}

{the wind did it}

He was just sitting there, you know. Not really moving and I didn't think it was particularly my fault...I had just walked up on him. So I kinda just stood there and looked at him for a bit. Couldn't think of anything else to do. The clouds up in the sky were making weird shadows on the sidewalk, and it was kinda cold you know that fall cold that still has some sunshine but is basically deceiving because it is cold. I guess its the wind that does it. I don't mind too much because I love wearing jackets and sweaters and scarves and mittens...it kinda hides me to an extent, more than I could hide behind say one of those spaghetti strap tank tops. Don't get me wrong, I mean they're cute and all, but nothing you can pull up to your chin and pretend that you're hiding from everyone around you, you know. So I did that, pulled my green striped thrift store sweater up a little closer to my chin and decided that maybe he didn't like me staring so I decided to look up at the clouds. They were pretty, starting as these clumps of white, so dense they were almost grey. And then as the wind kept moving it [yes, it was the wind making it so cold, I'm sure of it] but as the wind kept moving it, it started to spread across and dissipate into the air until it disappeared entirely. As if it was promising to keep together to form some sort of shape in the sky that we little people down here could sit around and make guesses about, but then it laughs and disappears before anyone can say anything worth remembering. People are kinda like that. I don't know if I mean the not having time to say anything worthwhile or like the clouds. But people are like that. I'm not much of a cynic, but sometimes I just know these things. Its like a gut feeling but then I'm never sure what my gut feeling is about until after it happens which of course makes it pretty useless. Lots of things would be pretty neat if we knew what we were supposed to do with them beforehand. Kinda like with this guy...maybe running into him was some great opportunity to be compassionate or something like that but right now I was just staring, and not even at him anymore but at the clouds. So I looked back at him and realized that his gaze was still looking straight ahead, just like when I first happened across him in the allyway shortcut home from the grocery store. I had just bought some flour to make cookies for my little brother's birthday party, I didn't really want to but sometimes moms just give you that look and you know you'd better just get your butt out the door and buy the flour, which is why I didn't have any money left. Just a few pennies and I think giving him pennies would have been more of an insult. So if I had known, I woulda grabbed a few extra dollars, but here was my gut instincts failing me again. He still didn't change what way he was looking. I looked a bit closer and his body wasn't actually moving at all. He was stiff, kinda like a woman stuck in one of those bodices they used to wear way back when, except not breathing. So I pulled out my cell phone and called the police to let them know a dead man was sitting in the alleyway. Well not really sitting, but I didn't actually know what else to call it. I guess he was kinda propped up or something. He must have died from the cold, even though it was sunny. I think it was the wind that did it.

Prince Charming is an Alien

[revised after a conversation with Hilary Grunder who helped me figure this out a bit more]

Yes, that is what I said. Prince Charming is an alien. But before you think I am a chronic cynic, please let me explain.

In today's "someday my prince will come" culture, the idea placed in the heads of many young girls is that someday that perfect man will come and rescue them from their troubles. For years, many of us have lived lives of struggle where our value and worth are often called into question and we hide and change ourselves to simply survive. We live day by day hoping that someday everything will be different and this struggle will soon be over. That one day, we will be rescued from all of this.

That doesn't sound so bad...right? And so often our expectation is that a man will come and, just like in Cinderella, take us away from our evil stepmothers and finally show us what it is like to be loved and valued and we can live happily ever after. But when Prince Charming also has struggles...suddenly we feel un-rescued. And suddenly, everything seems the same and we are right back in the same situation we were before. So this idea of Prince Charming coming to rescue us leaves no room for him to be human. How completely unfair to the wonderful men who come into our lives! Which is why I think Prince Charming must be an alien. Now if that works for Cinderella, great. I personally say, no thank you.

I would much rather be in love with a man. A man who is human and will struggle, but a man who I can also stand beside as we seek to find the answers to our struggles in God. For that is the only person who can actually rescue us, both women and men. The only one who can come and take away our problems entirely and be completely steadfast and perfect for us to rely forever in the future is Jesus Christ. Our culture, subtly, tells us to place our hopes of salvation upon a romance and a Prince coming to rescue us. In one very beautiful way, romance is picture of salvation and men are, I think, a type of Christ figure to help us to understand the way that Christ loves us. But place the responsibility of salvation upon their shoulders is entirely unfair and only destructive to both sides. So first and foremost, we must hold onto Christ, the first lover of our souls and our only true Savior.

And yet, God did in fact give us romance for a reason. I seems that there is something inherent to romance that helps a person learn to love and be loved, and in some real sense men do rescue women. They show us what it is like to be loved in a tangible way, to have a friend to come alongside as we struggle not to fix it all but to help us seek the one who can fix it, to understand our value, and many many other things. They can be and are our heroes [I have personally experienced more healing and restoration because of the wonderful man God has placed in my life right now, than I have in a very very long time].

But all that to say...Prince Charming is an alien. Sorry Cinderella. It makes a great story though...I still think there is something beautiful about fairy tale romances, and we can actually learn a great deal from them, but they are not real, that is all.

{also, this song i think perfectly exemplifies what I am talking about. Not at all to bash on Taylor Swift, I actually love her music and I actually really like this song and think there actually quite a few good things to be gleaned from it, but it is also a very good reminder of how our culture is conditioning girls to look at men and I think it is very harmful to both genders...so listen to it if you like and see what I mean}




Also, another song that addresses the need to find the Lord as our Salvation. I'm not sure if they are Christian...but the song certainly can speak to this topic.

Show Me What Im Looking For - Carolina Liar

Since Now Is the Perfect Time to Prove This Point

The desert of Southern California gets its water from two places: Colorado and Northern California

Northern California sends water to Southern California down the California Aquaduct[see picture]

Up here, we are rationing water.

As in, we turn off the water between the beginning and end of our showers..otherwise, if we use too much, we get huge fines.

I am sure that if I went to Biola they would still be watering the sidewalks.

That is all I have to say.

Reading List and Summer Projects

So this summer I am attempting to read a number of books ... and once I get the reading list for the Trinity Meta-Torrey I shall be adding those into the top priority places. I plan to write on some of them [maybe all?? but that is too ambitious to set as a goal...i'll only frustrate myself!] So here is what I am reading:

Currently - Till We Have Faces ~ C.S. Lewis [such an amazing book...still not sure all that he is doing with it, want to read it again once i know the ending. But if you have not read this book -- READ IT!]

Future books:

At the Back of the North Wind ~ George MacDonald

Lilith ~ George MacDonald

Life of Moses ~ Gregory of Nyssa

The Problem of Pain ~ C.S. Lewis

Miracles ~ C.S. Lewis

The Holy Spirit: Eastern Christian Traditions ~ Dr. Stanley Burgess

The Holy Spirit: Ancient Christian Traditions ~ Dr. Stanley Burgess

Then some poetry by Eliot and MacDonald

So we shall see how that goes. I also have a number of projects going on this summer. With blogging I am wanting to finish up the series on Faith and the Faithfulness of God [for those of you following, this has a good ending, I promise] and also start a series called When Science Has No Answer that will be a series of documented miracles from our church for the purpose of archiving them and also having them to look back on and see God's faithfulness to help inspire my trust in Him for the future. I posted one a long time back about my sister's healing.

As for other projects, I am helping to lead a college group this summer so that is exciting. The focus is going to be service projects and ministry to the poor as we read and apply the book of Acts. I am really excited about some of the ideas that the group is coming up with...this is going to be a great summer in that respect!

Also *hopefully* making a music video for a local band called Signed by You. Their song Popular Demand is quite interesting and I look forward to collaborating with them to make this project. Its just that age old problem of time and money. meh.

Other than that I am working at Tuesday Morning still, taking a math class online, and trying to reconnect with family and friends.

And James is coming to visit in 16 days!!! Wooooooo!!!!! [not a project, but i'm still excited :) ]

Overall a lovely summer. Yes, a lovely summer indeed.