Questions

Jesus said that the greatest love is when someone is willing to die for a friend. Sacrificial love. It's so hard. Really. What can you do when you wake up in the night crying because you want to help the person you love but don't know what to do? How can you give more when you've already given all you have? How can you give the situation to God, when you care so much you're afraid to let go?

I don't know. And i've been pleading with God to help me, but sometimes i just don't know what to do.

If you guys could be praying, I'd really appreciate it.

The Heart of Worship

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised! - Psalm 48:1

To live a life that is a constant praise to God - that's my goal in life. I want my every action to worship Him and bring Him glory. It's a lofty goal and one I'll never be able to accomplish fully on this earth, but i sure want to give it a good shot.

But how exactly does it work? I mean, how can we worship God in everything we do? Some things just don't lend themselves to feelings of worship: chores, cleaning up after the dog, dealing with difficult people. We all have our lists of things we don't like doing. So how can we worship God while doing these things?

I think it has a lot to do with the attitude with which we approach the situation. When I'm dealing with a difficult person (personally one of the hardest times for me to worship God) my initial reaction is to just tell them off. I can't tell you how fast cutting remarks jump into my head and try to get out of my mouth. Obviously, this is not a godly response, so over the years I've been learning to bite my tongue (a few times quite literally).

Well, that keeps me from sinning, but I felt God challenging me to go even further- not to just keep from sinning, but to worship Him in that situation. I wasn't really sure how to do that so I asked him to help me and (as always) He did.

He started by explaining that I needed to see the situation the way He did. Dealing with these people was not a hassle to get away from as quickly as possible but an opportunity to show God's love to someone. I asked God to show me His heart for these people and help me love them. Slowly, ways to encourage them began to come to my mind instead of cutting sarcasm. In fact, I started to get excited when a disagreeable person came my way because I knew it was a chance for me to try to encourage them. I even found myself thanking God for the conversation...and then I realized it - I was worshiping God! Not with a song singing "Hallelujah, praise Jesus!" but in my actions and attitudes that were honoring God and the thankfulness that had found it's way into my heart.

Now do I treat every person God brings my way as He wants me to? Unfortunately, no. But with God's help my heart towards them is changing and becoming a heart of worship.

The great thing is, this attitude of worship is not confined to showing God's love to annoying people. It can apply to any aspect of life! As I mentioned before, we've all got our lists of things we hate. I would encourage you to pick something off that list (be it washing the dishes to respecting your parents even when their decisions don't make sense) and ask God to show you His heart for the situation. As you seek His heart He will change yours and before you know it, you'll be worshiping Him through your actions. It's not an easy journey, seriously it's one of the most trying things God's asked me to do, but the reward is well worth it.

Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised!

New Website

Hey guys, just writing to let you know I started up a new website. I'm gonna use it to practice some basic programming (very basic let me tell you since i've never really done this before). But if you ever care to stop by and take a look the URL is karyn.cubedwater.com Criticism is welcome and if you have any coding suggestions do tell!!

Also, I'm working on a post about myspace and should have that up in a few days.

The Journey

This is the second part to my previous post "Salvation"

“Beloved,” he whispered. “There are still those lost in the forest. Now that you know the way, I want you to seek them out and lead them to me at the river. Don’t be afraid. I’ll be there with you, always ready to help you. You’ll be dirty when you return, but you can always wash in the river. Will you go?”

“Yes, I will go.” She rose to her feet, took a breath, and excitedly ran into the dark forest to find those who had been wandering, lost as she had been. She delved deep into what she had remembered as the darkest parts of the woods, but even among the thickest trees she could see clearly what was there…and more importantly there were no shadows to trick into seeing something that was not there.

It was not long before she saw someone stumbling through the trees. It was clear this person couldn’t see well for they tripped and fell over obstacles she saw clearly.

“Hey you there!” she called out. “I can show you the way out. Follow me.”

The other person looked around, but couldn’t seem to see her. So she stepped closer and took the person’s hand just as he had done for her. They traveled hand-in-hand until they reached the fringe of the forest where he stood waiting. She passed the person’s hand to him and then rushed back into the forest to find someone else. When the brought the next person to him he stopped her and said, “Wait, come and get clean.”

“There’s no time,” she answered as she ran back to the forest. It seemed a bit darker than before, but she didn’t give that any attention. She spotted the next person, but as she stepped out to help them she tripped on a branch she hadn’t seen. The person disappeared into the darkness and she was left alone. She stumbled about trying to find her way out, but she was utterly lost.

“Help me,” she tried to say, but she was so afraid that it barely came out as a whisper. Within moments, he was by her side.

“Why didn’t you listen to me?” he asked while he helped her up.

“I’m so sorry, I thought I could bring more to you by staying here.”

“If you are not washed by me, how can you be any help to them? The darkness will surround you, too.”

She followed him back to the river and he washed her again and then sent her back into the forest. She never again forgot to return to the river after being in the forest and she brought many to him until the day he called her to follow him past the river.

Greek Mythology

I have now been reading the Iliad for four hours straight. It is very confusing because I know next to nothing about Greek Mythology (it was just something that my parents didn't see as very important so it got glanced over in homeschooling and since I never did like that TV show Hercules...i really have no background in it). If it was a book about Egyptian mythology however I'd be fine. Not that homeschooling covered that any more than the Greek stuff, but i watch a lot of a TV show called Stargate and it relies heavily on Egyptian mythology and me being the skeptical person that i am decided to research it myself to see if it was actually accurate (which to my delight it was!). But anyways...this book is not about Ra and Hathor but it in fact about Zeus and Achillies and other annoying Greek people. *sigh* I'm learning a lot though. And it is actually quite interesting...i mean all the gods basically do is sit up on Mt. Olympus and squabble over their family dinner while the mortals are killing each other down below. It would make a great sitcom. okay...so i must now return to the wrath of Achilles and the cunning of Odysseus so my professors don't yell at me when i get down to school without having read this book.

Packing

Hey guys,

I'm starting to pack up for college and have been having such a hard time. I'm back and forth between tears and could really use some prayer. Specifically that I could do the stuff i need to get done and that God would just give me the strength i need to do this (not just the packing but also the whole dealing with reality thing...) Thank you so much. You are all so amazing and it means the world to know you're there.

~me

The Alpha-Beta Girls

All I can say is just watch the movie. It's better if you just see this...

Salvation

I'm working on a post about Turkey, but in the meantime, i'm posting the first half of a story that I wrote on the airplane.

"Salvation"

The night was dark around her. The wind whipped at her face, it’s icy fingers gripping and tearing at her skin. Desperately she pushed forward, following the voice in front of her. She took another step forward but caught her foot on an unseen tree root. She fell and began to slide down the mountain. Her hands grasped for a handhold among the roots and moss but every time she caught hold of something it pulled out of the ground and fell with her. Her right hand grasped a vine protruding from the mountain, it stopped her fall for a moment but it too eventually failed her and broke under the weight. Then in her final attempt to stop her fall she reached out blindly and grabbed onto a rope with her left hand. She tightened her grip and held the rope close as she was pulled up the mountain.

“Stay close to me,” the voice said as she reached the top. He took her hand in his and led her through the night.

As they reached the river, the sun began to rise. Looking down at herself, she saw her scrapes and bruises. Her clothes were dirty and torn from the fall. She looked tattered compared to him. She hung her head in shame, embarrassed to even look at him. Gently, he lifted her head and led her to the water. The gentle rays of the new sun reflected off the surface of the flowing river. He sat her down on a moss-covered stone and took her foot in his hands. With the running water, he began to wash away the filth, even using his shirt to wipe off the blood crusted between her toes. She watched him in gratitude and wonder as he cleaned all her wounds. His strong yet gentle touch not only cleaned her cuts but also quieted the voice inside her telling her she wasn’t worthy, that she should return to the dark forest and hide away from him. The next time he looked at her she smiled and gazed straight into his eyes instead of evading his look. His hands kept working but his eyes never left hers. Though he said nothing, she felt a love deeper than she had ever before.

In the dark lands, love had touched her heart, but always it was lacking something. No matter how self-less the person had been, there was some condition. If she didn’t perform right or love back enough the love could disappear. But this was not the way it felt with him. This love not only touched her heart, but her whole being. Though she hadn’t known him long, she felt safe and completely at rest. There was nothing she could ever do to make him lover her any less…or any more.

He lifted her up to her feet. She looked down at herself and saw in the place of her ripped clothes a white dress. Her skin was clean, the blood gone, and with it her shame. Emotions overwhelmed her: the warmth of thankfulness, the swirling of excitement, the peace of love. She looked up at him and saw him laughing. Joy filled her and she began to giggle, then laugh. He came near her, gathered her in his arms, then tossed her into the water. She came up feeling clean and refreshed. He dove in after her and they splashed and played before finally crawling out and collapsing on the grass growing near the river.

He turned to her and said, “Welcome to my family, my beloved.”