Sunday, June 1, 2014

The Need For Excellent Men

I have spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to reply to the #YesAllWomen hash tag and the conversations that it has been spurring.

There have been many powerful posts and images that need to be heard…there have equally been idiotic arguments and statements made from every party.

I see the rage from those who have been hurt and the fear from those who don’t wish to be seen as monsters.

Personally, it has brought up memories of things that happened to me that I had forgotten. Like being twelve on a tram overseas and having my butt groped multiple times by a grown man before I understood what was happening and then stayed quite because I didn’t know what to say afterwards.

It made me realize that things I wrote off as normal shouldn’t have been. Sexual slurs, inappropriate cat calling, “friends” trying to get close to me so they could look down my shirt.

It made me cry for the incredibly travesties that other women have experienced.

What surprised me is how grateful it made me for men.

For while our culture is surely saturated by men who degrade women, in my life, I have known men who chose to encourage and empower women. Men who knew chivalry not as diminishing of women but as respect for them. Men who chose to stand up for women and protect them, not because women were weak but because we were valuable and equals.  Because nobody should ever be allowed to treat us as less than that.

I am lucky that my father taught me that a man should respect a woman. That I only ever saw love and encouragement modeled in my home by my father towards my mother and towards my sister and I.

That I had uncles and male cousins who told me (even as a young child) that if a man ever harmed me they would show up in force to stand by my side.

That one of these cousins who lived in LA (where I moved to go to school) made sure I always had his updated cell number so I could call him if I ever was in trouble.

That in high school when I told my male friends about the creep that kept looking down my shirt, instead of laughing or writing it off, took it upon themselves to always stand between me and the creep so he couldn’t get close enough to peep.

That in college, two of my closest friends were men who regularly told me I was intelligent and valuable and worthwhile.

That these same two men, when I was being stalked and the stalking culminated in a day of the stalker calling me ceaselessly and shadowing me around campus, chose to stay by my side and took my phone so I wouldn’t have to feel afraid every time my pocket vibrated (to this day I don’t know what they said to the stalker while they had my phone, but I was never bothered by him again).

That when I reported the stalking to a professor, it was taken seriously.  (the professor was a woman in this case …but a fantastic example of a school handling sexual aggression positively).

That I knew many men as friends, who had no romantic interest in me, and they valued me for who I was, not for how I looked or what I could physically offer them.

That my husband honors and respects me, knows that love means sacrifice and not just getting what you want, watches out for me without ever making me feel weak, stands beside me, views me as an equal not as an object.

I read these tweets and articles about #YesAllWomen and after the feelings of sorrow and anger, what comes to mind is that we need to lift up excellent men as examples of what real manhood means.

Saying women have been mistreated is an excellent start. It is vitally important. We must keep doing it. We cannot stay silent and I am profoundly grateful for this opportunity for so many women to speak up.

However, men are being told they are wrong from every direction. Rarely are they given a chance to see what is right.

While we continue to decry the mistreatment of women, let us also lift up examples of excellent men. People who the boys in our culture can emulate. So they not only have a list of what not to do, but they also see exactly what they should be.


(I hope this post will not be seen as de-railing to the positive work that is being done by this hash tag, my desire is that we can also begin talking about a solution as we bring the problem to light).

14 comments:

mmo25 said...

The first PvP situations may be the Group connected with Angels third crossforum team tournament that could see the very best PvP a warrior execution one another for the possibility to get exceptional cash incentives, such as backer Alecta whoever effective Holy place Furor tap out down pours lower elysian break down about not worth heathens.Alecta besides boasts of firstclass platform characteristics which often joined with the woman's strong means shuffle the girl any powerful drive from the totally free not any get mmog.
FIFA 15 Coins

FUT 15 Coins

No rastro de um sonho said...

Se puder leia meu blog. Obrigada
http://sejameupadrinhonafaculdade.blogspot.com.br

Unknown said...

مكافحة حشرات بالرياض
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالرياض
شركة تسليك مجارى بالرياض

Yang Kuo said...

Follow Me on Google PLus

gclub
goldenslot casino

شركة ركن الهدى للخدمات said...


شركة تنظيف شقق وفلل بالقطيف
شركة تنظيف موكيت ومجالس بالقطيف
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالقطيف
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالقطيف

renita00 said...

http://www.latasca-luz.com http://www.wifoodpantry.org menjadi sebuah blog yang memberikan konten-konten judi online, seperti tips dan trik menang slot online di Indonesia.

عبير القحطان said...



نحن افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياة بالرياض لحل فواتير
المياه بالرياض ومتخصصين فى بحث وكشف تسربات المياه وحل تسرب
المياه ووقف نهائى لتسريب المياه بالضمان يوجد لدينا شركات
داخل وخارج الرياض متخصصيين فى مشاكل التسربات المياة كشركة
كشف تسربات المياة وكشف مياة التسرب وكشف تسرب المياة افضل شركة كشف تسرب المياه بالرياض يوجد فنيين متخصصين
للعمل لدى شركتنا فى ايجاد التسربات وحلول كثيرة لدينا فى
ايجاد تسريب المياه مع افضل الفنيين لحل ارتفاع فاتورة المياة
مع اطيب تمانينا لشركتنا لتفوقها فى الخدمات المنزلية عوازل



شركه كشف تسربات المياه بالطائف


شركة كشف تسرب المياه بالاحساء



شركه كشف تسربات المياه بجدة




شركه كشف تسربات المياه بمكة

Ufa88kh said...

Thank you, your article is very good
wordpress
blogspot
youtube
ភ្នាល់ប្រដាល់ថៃអនឡាញ

เครดิตฟรี คืนยอดเสีย said...

เครดิตฟรี คืนยอดเสีย โปรโมชั่น ดีๆที่เราพร้อมจะแจกจะ ช่วยทำให้การเดิมพันของคุณนั้น เล่นได้มากยิ่งขึ้นกว่าเดิม พีจี ยิ่งเล่นยิ่งรวยใน การเล่นเกมกับ บรรดาเว็บทั้งหลายนั้น

pg slot asia said...

pg slot asia เกมส์สล็อต พีจี ออนไลน์ โดยตรงเว็บไซต์ใหม่ ฝากถอนโอนไวดูแลตลอดการเล่นเกมของลูกค้ารับโบนัสกับslot asia เล่นง่ายจ่ายเร็ว เว็บไซต์พวกเราเหมาะสมที่สุดในประเทศ

slot auto wallet said...

slot auto wallet เว็บเกม สล็อต ฝาก-ถอน ทรูวอลเล็ต ไม่มี ขั้นต่ำเว็บ พีจี สล็อต ออนไลน์ รูปแบบใหม่ พร้อม เกมมันส์ๆ สล็อต แตกง่าย ที่ทำเงินให้มากมาย ที่คุณไม่ควรพลาด ณ ตอนนี้

pgslot เว็บตรง said...

pgslot เว็บตรง เกมส์สล็อตออนไลน์ เกมยอดนิยมจากผู้เล่นทั้งโลกตอนนี้ การเล่นสล็อตของคุณจะไม่มีเบื่ออีกต่อไป pg slot ขอแนะนำให้มาเล่นกับเว็บเรามีทางเลือกทั้งเกมเเละโปรโมชั่น

ทดลอง เล่น บาคาร่า said...

ทดลอง เล่น บาคาร่า ทำให้การเล่น เกมส์ออนไลน์ ของท่านง่ายและจากนั้นก็สบายมากขึ้น ไม่ต้องเสียเวล่ำเวลาเดินทาง pgslot-th.com ได้คัดสรรเกมที่น่าสนใจและ ได้เงินจริง มาให้ท่านแล้ว

เกมสล็อต m98 said...

เกมสล็อต M98 ซึ่งเกมออนไลน์นั้น จะเป็นเกมหมุนวงล้อ pg slot ที่ข้างในแต่ละเกมจะประกอบไปด้วยสัญลักษณ์ต่างๆหลายตัว โดยมีกฎกติกาในการเล่นรากฐานก็คือการหมุน game