{the wind did it}

He was just sitting there, you know. Not really moving and I didn't think it was particularly my fault...I had just walked up on him. So I kinda just stood there and looked at him for a bit. Couldn't think of anything else to do. The clouds up in the sky were making weird shadows on the sidewalk, and it was kinda cold you know that fall cold that still has some sunshine but is basically deceiving because it is cold. I guess its the wind that does it. I don't mind too much because I love wearing jackets and sweaters and scarves and mittens...it kinda hides me to an extent, more than I could hide behind say one of those spaghetti strap tank tops. Don't get me wrong, I mean they're cute and all, but nothing you can pull up to your chin and pretend that you're hiding from everyone around you, you know. So I did that, pulled my green striped thrift store sweater up a little closer to my chin and decided that maybe he didn't like me staring so I decided to look up at the clouds. They were pretty, starting as these clumps of white, so dense they were almost grey. And then as the wind kept moving it [yes, it was the wind making it so cold, I'm sure of it] but as the wind kept moving it, it started to spread across and dissipate into the air until it disappeared entirely. As if it was promising to keep together to form some sort of shape in the sky that we little people down here could sit around and make guesses about, but then it laughs and disappears before anyone can say anything worth remembering. People are kinda like that. I don't know if I mean the not having time to say anything worthwhile or like the clouds. But people are like that. I'm not much of a cynic, but sometimes I just know these things. Its like a gut feeling but then I'm never sure what my gut feeling is about until after it happens which of course makes it pretty useless. Lots of things would be pretty neat if we knew what we were supposed to do with them beforehand. Kinda like with this guy...maybe running into him was some great opportunity to be compassionate or something like that but right now I was just staring, and not even at him anymore but at the clouds. So I looked back at him and realized that his gaze was still looking straight ahead, just like when I first happened across him in the allyway shortcut home from the grocery store. I had just bought some flour to make cookies for my little brother's birthday party, I didn't really want to but sometimes moms just give you that look and you know you'd better just get your butt out the door and buy the flour, which is why I didn't have any money left. Just a few pennies and I think giving him pennies would have been more of an insult. So if I had known, I woulda grabbed a few extra dollars, but here was my gut instincts failing me again. He still didn't change what way he was looking. I looked a bit closer and his body wasn't actually moving at all. He was stiff, kinda like a woman stuck in one of those bodices they used to wear way back when, except not breathing. So I pulled out my cell phone and called the police to let them know a dead man was sitting in the alleyway. Well not really sitting, but I didn't actually know what else to call it. I guess he was kinda propped up or something. He must have died from the cold, even though it was sunny. I think it was the wind that did it.