Thursday, October 14th marked the first time I did not go with Lisa to the tattoo parlor. That day, while Lisa was busy getting her fifth diamond-colored stud shot into her left ear, I was busy taking all of mine out for good. The decision had been a long time coming, but she didn’t know that because I hadn’t told her. There were a lot of things I had’t been telling her lately. Like how scared I was about liking Sean, or that I wanted to stop wearing my lip rings…all my piercings in fact, or that I didn’t actually want to be like her anymore.
“Hey I’ve been feeling like crap lately, let’s going to Zee’s today to get another stud,” Lisa had said that morning in her usual, half-apathetic tone. It took her awhile to get the whole sentence out. She was straightening her already stick-straight hair into razorsharp bits that hung across her face and she apparently found it most natural to talk between passes of the superheated ceramic plates. She made eye contact with me through the mirror while I sat lazily on the bed that neither of us had thought to make for weeks. I was fingering a few old pairs of fishnet leggings Lisa had given me last year for my birthday. I wasn’t sure if I should wear them under my jeans today so they’d show through the holes. I usually did, but I thought that maybe these too would need to go.
“We’ve both got seven each….just in our ears,. We might want to take it easy for awhile?” I half-asked her, trying to soften my impending statement.
“What?” Lisa almost laughed. “When has that ever mattered?”
I didn’t answer and kept thinking about whether or not I should wear the leggings. She raised her eyebrows slightly in surprise, giving her face an even more superior vibe than normal. My phone buzzed and I turned my head around just in time to see a dirty, silver Toyota pull up, the type that probably wouldn’t have looked new even ten years ago. I tossed the leggings back in my drawer, I’d made up my mind about them, grabbed a faded green sweatshirt instead and started towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Lisa asked, her tone was stern, but her eyes softened for a moment, a look Lydia knew meant she had been taken off guard.
“Sean just drove up.”
“And…?”
“And?” I didn’t want to say straight out that I wasn’t going to go with her and was going to hang out with my own friends instead, so I tried for the door again. Lisa’s face hardened and she quickly stepped in with the straightening iron in hand. I relented.
“And we’re picking up Tawney and going to an animal shelter,” I said so fast I could hardly keep my tongue straight. Monday morning I had held my ground in an argument and the burns on my arm still hurt. Morning arguments are always the most dangerous.
“You’re freakin’ kidding me. You’re ditchin’ on Zee’s to go look at a bunch of diseased dogs with your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend, and we’re getting kittens.”
“Oh, kittens. Well,” Lisa tossed her arms in the air. “What the hell is up with you Lydia! You never go partying anymore…and since when do you care about kittens!”
I shrugged. I wasn’t actually quite sure why I suddenly cared about kittens so much. We both stood there for a long time. I thought about how bad would it be for me to go with her. I could call Sean and tell him I got sick and just never let him and Tawney know I went. They’d hate me for going back on my promise, they were both so proud of my decision. But, they had made me promise that I’d stop getting piercings, not that I couldn’t go into the place, exactly. Then I could put this confrontation off with Lisa for a little bit longer. Maybe? My phone started ringing. Sean was calling. “I’ll be right there,” I said into the phone and quickly hung up.
Lisa rolled her eyes and let me though the door. I ran down our staircase and pulled that green sweathshirt on over my head. It wasn’t cold at all, but I couldn’t wear the types of clothes I usually wore when I saw him. When I’m around Lisa’s friends I don’t really care how much of me they see or what all they think of me. But somehow I didn’t want Sean to see me that way. I ran down the hall towards the door, pulling out every one of my piercings from my nose to my navel and stuffing them in my pocket. I’d gotten quite good at this so that at the top of the staircase I looked like I belonged with Lisa and her crowd and by the bottom I looked a bit more like…well, I’m not exactly sure what I looked more like. Just plain I guess. But this time, I was never going to put the earrings back in.
I stopped at the door and paused for bit. That was a bad idea, to let myself think. I grabbed an umbrella, I opened it and closed it, and opened it and closed it, and opened it and closed it until finally I could walk out the door. I ran across the driveway and hopped in the front seat. Sean told me I looked pretty. I didn’t say much back to that…what are girls supposed to say to that anyways? I never could figure it out. He said it again when he dropped me back off. Most boys would have tried to kiss me, but he wasn’t like that. Instead he just said, “You looked really pretty today Lydia. Thanks for helping me find Shia.” He meant the little grey kitten that sat in a crate in the backseat. I smiled and climbed out of the car clutching mine. I had named him Milo. I know Milo’s not that original of a name, but it seemed to suit him at the time so that’s what I decided on.
I watched Sean drive off and then walked into the house. I passed by the downstairs mirror and felt instinctively to reach into my pocket and start putting my piercings back in, but I knew better. Instead I started petting Milo to give my hands something to do. The door to our room was shut, so I knocked. A loud thud, probably from one of my books hitting the door, was all I heard. I slowly walked inside, still clutching Milo, and saw Lisa sitting on the couch with a new earring in her left ear, crying.
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