Today

I only have time for a very quick post. But today I was realizing how people who work at grocery stores always seem to tag "today" to the end of all their senteces.

-How are you today?

-Did you find everything you were looking for today?

-Paper or plastic for you today?

-Would you like help out today?

-How can I help you today?

Really, all of these sentences would work just fine without the today on the end. And do we really need to clarify? I'm sure that customers are not assuming that we're asking if they want paper bags for yesterday.

Sadness and Sorrow

*sigh* why does life have to have sorrow. I hate sin, really I do. It makes things so dang complicated, otherwise I would not be sad right now. But I am. Not becasue of sin (though the amount of that in the world is depressing), but becasue life is sometimes so unchangable and the fact that you can't always do what you want to do and what you need to do and what you know you should do. I've struggled so much these last few weeks with leaving for school in the Fall. I know it's what I need to do, I know it's what I should do, but there in nothing in me right now that makes me want to. I really just want to stay here. With my family, with Sarah (yay for best friends), and with this wonderful, amazing new group of friends that I have really just recently gotten to know (thanks to Sarah, again yay for best friends). I've never really had a group of friends before, friends I can feel safe with and just relax with, not having to worry about what bad influences you'll be picking up next. It seems like things are finally coming together, and now I'm leaving, ripping away. I'll be back, but it doesn't seem like it will be the same. Sometimes I wish I could stay home, but then what a waste of all the effort that I have put into going to college. The programs I got into are not open after the freshman year, I will literally never have a chance to do this again. And yet, I still don't want to go. I know this is God's Will for my life, and if I follow Him, He will take care of me and use my life in ways I could never imagine. But sometimes...it's hard to do what He says...especially when it means leaving everything. This makes it all the more real to me the struggle it must have been for the disciples to leave everything behind and follow Jesus.

I can't do everything. I can't stay and go. And right now, I'd much rather stay. If you think of it, please pray for me. That God would give me the courage to follow His Will, when I really don't want to. Thanks.

and sorry for the sad post...

Books I'm Reading

Michelle tagged me for "what I'm reading." So here goes...


Just finished: The Hidden Power of a Woman - by Bonnie and Mahesh Chavda (it's a book about how the church will become so much more effective when women take their place as equal to men in ministry and men and women can strenghten each other in the Lord...men and women were created different but equal)

Just began: Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen (not as interesting as Emma or P&P may I say)

In the middle of: The Bible - multiple authors inspired by the Holy Spirit (I never stop reading this actually)

A Glimpse of Grace - Mary Forsythe (a story about how a successful businesswoman was incarcerated and then was saved while in prison and how her life was completly turned around. the story is even better since i know her really well and it's fun to hear about who she was before i met her)

Introduction to Digital Filmmaking - (does school reading count?? such a great book with writing exercises to boot!)

So that's it really. I tag Sam and anybody else who reads this and has a blog and wants to be tagged. if myspaces count I'll tag Sarah and TJ too :)

The Incredible Journey

This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.


It had taken weeks of careful planning. Though the destination had always been known, the route had to be carefully chosen, every turn plotted, every strech understood. One misjudgement, any misdirection and all would be lost.

They spent weeks building their endurance. Their tireless efforts went largly unnoticed. Nobody saw, nobody knew but them. The clicking of gear chains and the whirring of the wheels beneath them as they pedaled urged them to greater and greater lengths. Eventually they would be ready.

When the day finally came, the feeling was as if one was living between a sunset and a sunrise. Never quite light, never quite dark. The journey before them was great, and yet the destination...

Sinching their helmet straps, they climbed onto their bikes and rode off on the first half of their journey. The long uphill ride was grueling and pushed them to the limit of their strength, but the allure of their destination kept them going. Mile after mile they pedaled, each foot taking it's turn to push them still onward another few feet.

Finally the goal was in sight! The crossed palm trees gently swayed in the distance. They had made it.

Their bikes fell to the ground as they stumbled inside. And then...oh wonderful aroma...smells of meat and bread mixing in the air...patties cooking on the grill...one small bite...glorious bliss.

Editor's note: After this fateful journey to In-N-Out these brave souls safely made it home with the strength they gained from the hambugers they worked so hard to secure.

How To Try Something New With Like No Forethought...

So I decided to take karate lessons. yeah, I've never done anything like this before, but my sister is going to do it for PE next year (she's going back to homeschooling) and so we decided to get her started now and so I decided to do it for the summer until I leave for college. So I signed up with Hannah today and we got uniforms! I'll let you all know how it goes, I'll probably just end up with a good knowledge of self-defence when I'm done, but that's cool. haha don't mess!

Saying Goodbye to Lindsay

It's been two weeks now since I left the Lindsay Museum, close to tears as I drove away from the museum where I have spent four years of my life. I started volunteering at the museum when I was 14 as an Interpretive Guide. Lucas Abbott and Patti Blasquez were my bosses (both of them have now moved on, Luc works with teens through UC Berkely and Patti retired) and they were awesome. I learned so much about animals and people while I was there. Since I did a lot of presentations for the public as an IG, I learned about public speaking while also learning how to work with a wild animal and making sure it stays comfortable and feels safe. For instance, the first presentation I did was a snake presentation with another IG and a gopher snake. The snake kinda wigged out on us and started secreting this icky musky smelling stuff. So we called over an animal keeper and the other IG got to go in the back to get another snake while I was left with the 20+ people (most of them little kids) for the next 15 minutes with no snake and the job of keeping them interested until we got the kingsnake out. It was...interseting, but I did it somehow. As the years went by I got a lot better at snake handling, to the point where I was one of the few who was comfortable handling the xanthic albino kingsnake (he was so cool, but had a tendancy to bite his handlers). I got to handle and be close to so many cool animals: tarantulas, bald eagles, bobcats, cougars... All of the animals are non-releaseable, so we provide a home for them in the museum. Lots of the raptors (birds-of-prey) are missing wings, mammals with neurological problems, an imprinted (too used to humans) squirrel who liked to eat potato chips [we didn't let him eat them, but the people who kept him as a pet before did], and a talking raven who says "hello", clucks like a chicken, and tries to sound like an eagle whenever the eagles are showing off.


During the summer when I was 16, I also volunteered in the rehab hospital where I fed baby birds, squirrels, and raccoons who had been orphaned. I also did a lot of laundry (having the largest rehab hospital in the nation requires having a lot of animals, thus lots of..well...dirty laundry, let's just say that).


<--- one the lead keepers, Jarrod, with our golden eagle





After I turned 17, a program opened up for some of the IG's to become assistant animal keepers. I applied and was accepted so last june I started working in the back of the museum with all the non-releasable wildlife (up to this point the only animals i cared for directly were the pet education animals like rats, rabbits, guniea pigs, etc. I was only allowed to use a few of the other animals for presentations). It was in this position that I discovered that I have a hidden talent for...gutting rats. yeah...not the most remarkable talent, not something to put on your resume, but still, it has it's merits. (that's Jason up above being cool with dead and defrosted mice to feed to the birds) I started out preparing food for the animals, and slowly progressed up the ranks to amphibian care (getting our lethargic newt to eat is a task in itself), to songbird cage cleaning, to the point where I could actually kennel and care for squirrels and ravens on my own. Through this process Jarrod, Jean (in the picture with a bat), Jason, Mike, Sarah, Michelle, and Dawn have been so awesome in teaching me everything.

So I volunteered every week, and then...I got a job. Argh, so much of growing up is giving up what you want to do in order to do what you have to do. I didn't have enough time to work, do well in school, and volunteer, so after three months of putting it off, I finally quit. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time. But my last day was awesome. All the keepers (people named above) worked really hard to make my last day really fun. (Mike and Sarah even tried to kill each other with Simple Green...i got a picture!) I will certaily miss it, but I know that working there has really changed me and helped me to become a more confident person. So, goodbye Lindsay, I'll miss you.


(and this is just one example of the craziness at the Lindsay...i love it)