Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Prince Charming is an Alien

[revised after a conversation with Hilary Grunder who helped me figure this out a bit more]

Yes, that is what I said. Prince Charming is an alien. But before you think I am a chronic cynic, please let me explain.

In today's "someday my prince will come" culture, the idea placed in the heads of many young girls is that someday that perfect man will come and rescue them from their troubles. For years, many of us have lived lives of struggle where our value and worth are often called into question and we hide and change ourselves to simply survive. We live day by day hoping that someday everything will be different and this struggle will soon be over. That one day, we will be rescued from all of this.

That doesn't sound so bad...right? And so often our expectation is that a man will come and, just like in Cinderella, take us away from our evil stepmothers and finally show us what it is like to be loved and valued and we can live happily ever after. But when Prince Charming also has struggles...suddenly we feel un-rescued. And suddenly, everything seems the same and we are right back in the same situation we were before. So this idea of Prince Charming coming to rescue us leaves no room for him to be human. How completely unfair to the wonderful men who come into our lives! Which is why I think Prince Charming must be an alien. Now if that works for Cinderella, great. I personally say, no thank you.

I would much rather be in love with a man. A man who is human and will struggle, but a man who I can also stand beside as we seek to find the answers to our struggles in God. For that is the only person who can actually rescue us, both women and men. The only one who can come and take away our problems entirely and be completely steadfast and perfect for us to rely forever in the future is Jesus Christ. Our culture, subtly, tells us to place our hopes of salvation upon a romance and a Prince coming to rescue us. In one very beautiful way, romance is picture of salvation and men are, I think, a type of Christ figure to help us to understand the way that Christ loves us. But place the responsibility of salvation upon their shoulders is entirely unfair and only destructive to both sides. So first and foremost, we must hold onto Christ, the first lover of our souls and our only true Savior.

And yet, God did in fact give us romance for a reason. I seems that there is something inherent to romance that helps a person learn to love and be loved, and in some real sense men do rescue women. They show us what it is like to be loved in a tangible way, to have a friend to come alongside as we struggle not to fix it all but to help us seek the one who can fix it, to understand our value, and many many other things. They can be and are our heroes [I have personally experienced more healing and restoration because of the wonderful man God has placed in my life right now, than I have in a very very long time].

But all that to say...Prince Charming is an alien. Sorry Cinderella. It makes a great story though...I still think there is something beautiful about fairy tale romances, and we can actually learn a great deal from them, but they are not real, that is all.

{also, this song i think perfectly exemplifies what I am talking about. Not at all to bash on Taylor Swift, I actually love her music and I actually really like this song and think there actually quite a few good things to be gleaned from it, but it is also a very good reminder of how our culture is conditioning girls to look at men and I think it is very harmful to both genders...so listen to it if you like and see what I mean}




Also, another song that addresses the need to find the Lord as our Salvation. I'm not sure if they are Christian...but the song certainly can speak to this topic.


Show Me What Im Looking For - Carolina Liar

7 comments:

evangeline said...

i think i've read and re-read your post about five times. my thoughts are still scattered and in process. girl, i miss talking to you! :-)

fairy tales remind me of those cheap 25 cent rings you get from the toy dispensers. they're perfect for make-believe...

i agree with you, fairy tale romances leave a skewed idea of how "true love" fits into our lives--as a quick fix that serves as the ticket to the land of bliss. alas, how harsh reality truly is! :-P
i can't help but think that our love of fairy tale romances display our desire and need for a savior. weird, huh?

wanting to be in love with prince charming reeks of consumerism. the love of having a prince charming is one that does not require much more than consuming the amazingness that he is supposed to be and deliver. when a girl dreams of loving a prince charming, it is often in response to how he is supposedly going to be.
receive his love ('cause he's just that amazing!). return his love ('cause he's just that amazing!). you live happily ever after ('cause he's just that amazing). the end ('cause he's just that amazing!).

i have a bunch more thoughts... but i'm super tired and don't think that i make sense anymore... :-D

(btw, thou shalt be shunned for enjoying the so-called "music" of taylor swift. ;-P)

Lizzie said...

Interesting take on Prince Charming. I don't think I've ever thought of it that way before... but it makes total sense! Thanks for the shift in thought!

A Free Man said...

I really enjoyed your understanding of romance and how, while the man is a type of Christ figure in a woman's life, both the man and the woman are really pursuing a much greater romance and love.

How do you think women should combat this "someday my prince will come" idea in the mainstream culture? Stop watching Disney movies? Maybe...:P While having the prince be a salvific man can be extremely detrimental, watching the prince movies and thinking of Jesus helps a person understand more of who He is. So, could Prince Charming not just be an alien, but, in a different context, be God? You see what I'm driving towards, right? I would still love to hear how to combat the fake idealism of savior men.

Taylor Swift? I'm with Evange on this one. But I love the song by Carolina Liar, and agree completely. Doubt they're Christian, though.

Great ideas!

Karyn said...

I do not apologize for liking the song. Sorry guys...I like the musical quality of it. Unashamedly :P

Hmmm...being God. I like that idea, so long as it is properly applied to God. I think Prince Charming certainly has attributes that point to God, and in a sense - Christ became human and saved his bride. The ultimate Prince Charming. But I also see the danger [and I think you pointed it out too] of applying this savior mentality to humans. Which I don't think is fair to them.

I think all Disney films be burned!!! Bwaahahahhaha. No. Not really. I like them. But I think children should be taught about what real life is like and that fairy-tale romances have so much to teach us about love and what it should be in some sense, but when taken as the whole of romance they are dangerous. But like learning about your arm does not give you a full understanding of your body. Knowing about your arm is helpful, vital actually. It shows a very specific and important part of how our body functions. But if we thought of ourselves as only an arm...we'd be in trouble. That is a weird analogy...i'm picturing a bunch of people made of only arms. haha.

So I think we should train our daughters [and sons!] to look at fairy tales as they should be seen. Not reality, but a beautiful representation and interpretation of it.

I think a new post is coming...what we can learn about love from fairy tales. :)

Karyn said...

what do you guys think about that?

Theophilus Christmas said...

I hope you know that I'm an alien...


...seriously...




...and Fairy Tales are wonderful.

Karyn said...

Fairy Tales are wonderful.

You are wonderful.

Sometimes you are kind of like a fairy tale, and then it seems more wonderful.

yep.